Best Week Ever

Topics mocked include: The 2003 Academy Award nominations the Lingerie Bowl Oprah's birthday the New Hampshire Democratic primaries the sanctity of marriage political controversy the 61st Annual Golden Globes Awards (2003) Superbowl parties and more.

Topics that caused humor include: the David Guest interview the Grammy Awards rundown BRAVO's television show Celebrity Poker Showdown diets Tampax winter blahs and Seasonal Affective Disorder and more.

Topics skewered include: Britney Spears on the television show On Air with Ryan Seacrest gets softball questions, natch Paris Hilton 2.0 . . .the new version, is everywhere Diana Ross caught drinking and behind the wheel the FOX amateur talent show American Idol little people on FOX's coupling reality television show The Littlest Groom the hi-caffeine energy drink Red Bull Courtney Love is back . . . in trouble and in Court Valentine's Day Marlon Brando causes the demise of Ugg boots the curious symphonic pop group Polyphonic Spree from Dallas, Texas and their video Light & Day/Reach for the Sun and more. Upgrade and downgrade: Grammy Awards moments. Closing Video: ""Mono,"" by Courtney Love.

Topics ridiculed include: Conan O'Brien goes to Canada to apologize the FOX television show The OC Dubya Bush, Ben Affleck, and Whoopi Goldberg at a NASCAR race Mel Gibson producing and directing the film The Passion Gov. Howard Dean quits the 2004 presidential race after defeat ""scream"" perceived foible the final episode of the HBO television show Sex and the City Christina Aguilera sends Britney Spears a ""let's make up"" letter and then, OMG, sends it to the press SHOWTIME's cable TV show The L Word American Idol contestant William Hung, his lackluster voice, and his 15 minutes of fame the PBS children's educational exercise show Boohbah and more. Upgrade and downgrade: celebrity spokepersons. Word of the week: manscaping--the removal of body hair from a man to make him look phat. Music spotlight: Five for Fighting. John Ondrasik, the leader of the band and principal tune-smith, takes a turn as a guest star panelist. Closing video: ""Superman (It's not Eas

Topics that amused the panelists include: God is hot and marketable the NBC show The Apprentice, the ego of host Donald Trump and his coiffure Hilary Duff & Lindsay Lohan both seem to like Aaron Carter the finale of FOX's reality show My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé gay marriage week in America includes Rosie O'Donnell who weds in San Francisco the Discovery Channel's American Chopper and the stars of the show: the dysfunctional Tuetul Family the Academy Awards possible winners the film Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights slang cards are available for sale the FOX television game show Celebrity Spelling Bee and more. Upgrade and downgrade: celebrity breakups. Who had the best week ever: Jessica Simpson. The panelists give ample evidence why she's hot, hot, hot, dumb, dumb, dumb, and, why people love her. Closing video: ""I'm Really Hot,"" by Missy Elliott.

Topics that charmed the panelists include: the HBO show The Sopranos the Olson twins are drinking, going wild, and make the cover of In Touch magazine Queen of homemaking Martha Stewart is found guilty by jury the NBC reality show The Apprentice and Trump's henchmen the film Starsky & Hutch is so gay the final episode of the NBC television show Average Joe and the dumb ending shock radio DJ Howard Stern is in hot water, again, natch the James Bond video game and more. Upgrade and downgrade: Academy Awards Show fashions. Word of the week: spongmonkey--the Quizno's singing rodents. Who had the best week ever: New Zealand. The panelists tell us why the three Lord of the Rings films helped make this so. Closing video: ""She Wants to Move,"" by N.E.R.D.

Topics derided include: Governor Arnold moonlights as new editor at Muscle & Fitness and Flex magazines Britney Spears gyrates in the The Onyx Hotel Tour the UPN television show America's Next Top Model: let the crying begin the CIA recruitment video starring the Alias television actor Jennifer Garner Angelina Jolie, sex, hotels and her friends Wrestle-mania XX, lies, and cable Law & Order v. CSI Hip Hop energy drinks like Crunk, Pimp Juice, and Liquid Ice singers Norah Jones, Hillary Duff, John Mayer, Clay Akin, et al: the ""New Comfort Celebrities"" Ashley Judd's film selection choices and more Upgrade and downgrade: Cover songs. Word of the week: Gay DD--there are so many gay news/events in pop culture that one can't keep up. Who had the best week ever: Carmen Electra. The panelists and Carmen tell us how busy she is with work. Carmen's everywhere. Closing video: ""Public Service Announcement (Interlude),"" by Jay-Z.

Topics scoffed include: Courtney Love acting like an idiot, once again, natch Paris Hilton on FOX's The Simple Life 2 the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Lisa Marie Presley talks about former husband Michael Jackson Fox News producers: what idiots college basketball's March Madness celebrities as United Nation ""hiplomats"" saving the world who's Farnsworth Bentley? why is he in hip-hop videos? what's he selling? and why we care? Jessica Simpson is still dumb when she visited the White House St. Patrick's Day and lots and lots of drinking and more. Upgrade and downgrade: Celebrity couples. Who had the best week ever: Robots. Closing video: ""Tipsy,"" by J-Kwon.

Topics roasted include: director Kevin Smith's new film Jersey Girl Howard Stern fined and Oprah wasn't: for similar verbal gaffe Richard Simmons: slap-happy at the airport the novel Da Vinci Code is still on the best-seller list actor/singer Jada Pinkett Smith opens for Britney Spears in Europe Tom Hanks' new film The Ladykillers Democratic presidential candidate X-treme John Kerry the Brat Back is back, twenty years later, and on television Paris Hilton and Britney Spears almost get hurt off-beat action figures of Donald Rumsfeld, and others, are the rage and more. Upgrade and downgrade: artist crossovers. Who had the best week ever: Beyoncé Knowles. Jacqui Malouf said it well, ""This woman is unstoppable."" Closing video: ""Naughty Girl,"" by Beyoncé Knowles.

Topics the panelists poked fun at include: Janet Jackson recovers from her Super Bowl flap and is everywhere Britney Spears' live Miami concert on SHOWTIME the film Hellboy and its star Ron Perlman the USA TV biopic Call Me: The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss Ben Affleck's life gets dissected Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz break-up the OutKast video ""Roses"" premieres MTV's reality super make-over television show I Want a Famous Face FOX's television show Arrested Development and more. Upgrade and downgrade: classic TV film remakes. Word of the week: germinator--one who coughs or sneezes without covering up, thereby infecting others. Who had the best week ever: The FOX cartoon character Marge Simpson. The panelists and Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, explain why she's hot, reveal that Marge is on the cover of Maxim magazine, and why she's popular here in the US, and beyond. Closing video: ""Roses,"" by OutKast.