Stark Raving Mad

Ian's curiosity is piqued after Henry mentions picking up a gift for his girlfriend, Tess, for their anniversary. When Henry refuses to tell Ian anything more about her out of fear Ian will play a practical joke on her, Ian waits until after Henry calls Tess -- and then uses redial to find out where she is. Working in an art gallery is where. So Ian goes there, meets Tess, and pretends to be a couples counselor to trick her into giving him the juicy details about Henry. Ian soon learns to be careful what you wish for when he returns home, horrified, and tells Maddie and Jake that Henry's girlfriend thinks he's a dud in bed and secretely wants to be entertained with toys. Naughty, naughty toys. After Henry comes back with Tess' gift -- flannel sheets -- Ian comes clean about Tess' confession, while Henry figures out Ian hit redial. Henry begs Ian to give him kinky tips to please Tess, so a nauseated Ian takes Henry out to a sex shop that sells S&M toys. Then Henry drops by the art galle

Henry doesn't understand why Ian changed the name of a character in his manuscript from Lily to Renska, nor does he understand why Ian's favorite coffee shop is thirty blocks away. Wanting to understand Ian better, Henry pays a visit to Ian's coffee house of choice, where he discovers that Renska, the owners' daughter, is a waitress there -- whom Ian never talks to. Ian denies to Henry that he has a thing for Renska, but Henry doesn't believe him. Thanks to Henry's big mouth, Renska's over-protective parents thrust Ian into a date with their timid daughter the next time he stops by. Furious, Ian blows up at Henry because his morning routine of fritters and long walks has been ruined -- but Henry's attempt to correct the matter destroys Ian's routine even more. Meanwhile, Maddie has to fend off the unwanted advances of her pompous professor, Forrest St. James, when she sends Jake to her psychology class to take notes for her, and he ends up penning an overly flattering teacher evaluatio

Henry's germophobia kicks in as he struggles to maintain a ""five-foot perimeter"" from Ian, who's got a cold. But Henry catches it anyway. Audrey tells Henry that she's going to see her new client, Professor Huggles, the famous children's author whom Henry is enamored with. So Henry tags along to lunch with Audrey to meet him. Henry impresses Professor Huggles with his ability to recite lines from the author's best-known book, ""Kyle the Kite Learns to Smile at the Night,"" and the two share a hug. But the next day, Henry, Ian and Jake hear on the news that Huggles died from complications of a common cold. Ian torments Henry with accusations of hugging his childhood hero to death and infecting the five-foot perimeter. Overcome with guilt that he was responsible for Huggles' death, Henry begins having nightmares where Kyle the Kite beats him up. Ian finds these most amusing - until he begins having them, too. Henry decides to clear his conscience by going to Huggles' funeral and confessing

During Halloween, Ian helps Henry pay back his pregnant cousin Lori for a prank she pulled on him a long time ago, while Maddie's date -- who's dressed up as Igor -- may or may not be a humpback for real.

Audrey and her flaming French partner, Cesar, throw an extravagant dinner party, and invite Henry and Tess with the sole purpose of getting them to bring Ian. Ian hates parties, so Henry has to beg Ian to do him and Audrey a favor and go anyway. But Tess gets food poisoning from bad sushi and has to cancel, leaving Henry with no choice but to bring Maddie as his date. Ian gets bored at the party -- where he is hounded by a phony 20th Century FOX executive, Danny Lukor -- and decides to spruce things up by taking one of Cesar's prized exotic fish and putting it in Henry's drinking glass. From there it's a comedy of errors as Henry, Maddie and Tess (who shows up still sick to her stomach) try to sneak the fish back into the tank without Cesar noticing.

Henry's and Tess' declaration that they are ""engaged to be engaged"" leads Ian to play yet another prank on Henry -- this time by setting it up to look like Henry did it with Maddie.

At a book signing, Ian meets an obsessed and insane fan, Rod Dubelko, who makes Ian look down to earth in comparison. When Rod learns Henry is Ian's editor, he gets jealous and wants to take Henry's place. Ian sees a little of himself in his stalker and takes a liking to him, but Henry tries to change Ian's mind when Rod confesses to cutting the power to the elevator in Henry's building -- trapping Tess in the process. After Ian tells Rod that the editing position is already filled, his number one fan has something else in mind...

Tess (who narrates the tale) attempts to fix up Ian and Maddie after becoming jealous that Ian and Henry are hanging around each other too much. But it's a match made in hell after Maddie tries to teach Ian how to dance for their first date.

Under Audrey's orders, Henry makes Ian do a round table discussion with Charlie Rose. Henry stops by a funeral home to check out the coffins, where he learns that Henry is freaked out by death. Ian disregards Henry's sensitivities and buys a coffin from the funeral home anyway. Upon getting it home -- where he plans to use it as a piece of living room furniture -- Ian discovers the funeral place accidentally sold him a coffin with a corpse in it. Ian calls them to come pick it up, but before they get there, he has to go to his interview, leaving Henry stuck caring for the dead body in the meantime.

It's Christmastime, and there's a need to be afraid. Jake plans to fulfill his New Year's resolution to call his father who deserted him when he was ten, while Maddie prepares for a blind date with one Dr. Eric Woolf that her father set up. Tess tries to get her friends together for a Christmas party, but they've all got plans. So instead she latches onto Ian's party -- even though he doesn't want her there. Once Tess arrives and sees what Ian calls a Christmas party, she isn't sure she wants to be there either. But at least she's in good company with Ian's eccentric collection of friends: Vince from the looney bin, who has a habit of introducing himself as the last name said in his presence; Phyllis, the maintenance transvestite; Goldy, the midget newsstand guy; and Lois Bickford, the washed-up stage actress who did Ed Sullivan several times -- and still couldn't get on his show. Since Ian's gang are too busy watching a Knicks game to bother having any Christmas spirit, Tess decides t